After I had my first baby I thought what the heck, we may as well keep going. I thought it would be good to have my babies while I was young and could really enjoy them. Then still be young enough to get out and do things with them when they were older. So my second baby was mostly planned. At 6 weeks along I began spotting which of course worried me. Everyone I talked to told me to prepare myself for a miscarriage. I wasn’t too upset about it but if it was going to happen I wanted it to happen then, while it was still early. This went on for about 4 days so the doctor decided to do an ultrasound to see what was going on. It was very difficult for them to see anything but they found 2 sacs and only 1 heartbeat. The doc told me that could be because the other was still too small to see a heartbeat so for 3 weeks I thought I might be having twins. I had another ultrasound at 10 weeks showing just one baby and the other had already been absorbed. (later found had been absorbed into the placenta) I was very grateful to have 1 healthy baby in there.
The rest of the pregnancy went really well. The nausea wasn’t as bad as the first and I even had some energy. (turned out to be the best pregnancy out of all 4) Two days before I had her I started having contractions about every 15 minutes. Some of them were pretty intense and I was hoping it was the real thing but around supper time they suddenly stopped. Friday I felt nothing. Saturday started out pretty normal. I was 38 weeks along. Around 10am I had a sudden intense contraction so that got my hopes up again. Mike and I decided to go to West Edmonton Mall to walk around. I thought that might help move things along. So all day I had these intense contractions, but only every 20 minutes. So there was no way I could go to the hospital, they would have laughed at me! Towards supper time I started feeling pretty tired and the contractions were long and intense enough that I had to stop what I was doing or sit down and breathe through them. But they were still only every 20 minutes, sometimes 15. We thought about going out for supper but I didn’t feel well so (as I was grateful for later) we went home. I had half a thought to pack a bag just in case but instead told Mike I was going to get some rest and laid down in the bed.
As soon as my head hit the pillow at 4:55pm my water broke. The contractions immediately intensified and started coming every 2 minutes. I was pretty sure I should go to the hospital. We had to bring my 2-year-old daughter with us. We drove all the way there and realized I’d forgotten my papers so went all the way back home to get them. We arrived at the hospital around 5:30pm. The nurse took me back to the assessment room. She kept asking me what was wrong. I guess she didn’t believe I could be in active labor after only a ½ hour. So we went through all the usual hospital routines. The nurse checked me and told me I was 6cm dilated and told me the usual “so you’ll dilate about a cm an hour.” She asked if I wanted an epidural. I told her of course but there wouldn’t be time. She looked at me like I was crazy, smiled and said in a cheerful voice “Oh ya there should be time.”
A lot happened between 6 and 7pm. A different nurse must have decided it would be good to call the doctor. Again, she made it just in time. I don’t remember a lot of went on around me during that time—this labor was just that much worse than the first. I had a gas mask and I believe a shot of morphine which did very little if anything. Maybe it relaxed me during the 30 seconds between contractions. I ended up having my baby at 7:01pm, she had a tiny bit of light blonde hair and a cute little upturned nose. Besides her light hair and pale skin, she looks like her daddy. No episiotomy and only a few stitches made me a happy lady.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Pointing the Blame Again
So I just found Gracie with red art paint all over her hands (thanks to her big sister leaving it out last night). I came over and said "Uh-oh you made a mess." Gracie then pointed to Meghan and said "Uh-oh, Mehan mae me-ss!" Don't think that's going to work as well when she's the one covered in the evidence!
It's going to be a long day--an hour later and I just found the twins painting their faces and hair with yogurt. They are all dressed and I haven't even showered yet but I guess I'll be going to put them in the tub!
It's going to be a long day--an hour later and I just found the twins painting their faces and hair with yogurt. They are all dressed and I haven't even showered yet but I guess I'll be going to put them in the tub!
Monday, March 30, 2009
The Aftermath--Breastfeeding woes
So they kept me in the hospital for 3 days after I had my baby and still didn't want me to leave. I had to insist and the lactation consultant threw a fit when she found out I was being discharged. Baby wouldn't wake up, she wasn't hungry and trying to nurse her was impossible. The LC would help me try for hours with no success. We undressed her, tickled her, everything and nothing worked. She had no desire to latch. It was exhausting to say the least, never mind the after pains. As I was getting ready to go home the LC is arguing with the nurses that my baby is going to get dehydrated if I take her home without being able to nurse her. This of course is not what a new young mother needs to hear. I just wanted to go home but was feeling panicked now, thinking that my baby was going to be in danger.
Meanwhile no one, not even my doctor educated me on how to take care of an episiotomy incision, I had no idea and later this would prove to be a major issue. So we go home and of course, after 3 days of sleeping my baby finally found her lungs and the grumbly in her tummy. I didn't know what to do. Again I would try for hours to nurse her, to the point where she was screaming and I was crying and we were both exhausted. The nurses kept calling me to ask me if I was still trying. They suggested that I syringe feed so that she wouldn't become dependent on a bottle nipple. So that's what I did, after 2 hours of failing at breastfeeding, I would spend another hour trying to syringe feed her. Nurses would call me at least once a day and rudely pressure me about it. Meanwhile, the day after we brought her home the episiotomy incision became infected. I had a high fever and the pain made it difficult to do anything. My mom had to come and stay with us and do all the housework and lifting etc. My husband had to do night time changings. I ended up in emergency one night to get antibiotics and percocet. My mom had to give baby a bottle, there was nothing else to be done. My mom had also called a better organization of nurses who had leant me a breast pump (and some support) so at least baby was getting breast milk (which I had plenty of). I had been "brainwashed" so to speak that my baby would somehow be sick and dumb if she was formula fed.
After that there was no going back. Although I did spend many more hours trying to convince baby to latch, we were both happier with the bottle. I continued to pump...1/2 hour of pumping, 1 hour of feeding, every time. When baby was 3 weeks old the pumping began to hurt. I ignored it until a few days later when the pain in my left breast was so bad I had to excuse myself from a dinner party because I could no longer keep a straight face. My fever soared to 1o4 degrees so again I headed to emergency. (I will spare you the other symptoms of mastitis.) Back on antibiotics and 4 days in bed and this time I said "That's it, I quit." But it wasn't easy, I felt like other moms looked down on me, because I formula fed. It was hard at playgroups and in church when I was the only one pulling out a bottle. Looking back, I know I shouldn't have worried what others thought, it was the guilty feelings of doing my baby wrong that caused those worries. When baby became very ill at 3 months of age she was hospitalized. Upon her discharge (after a diagnosis of her body overreacting to a urinary tract infection) a doctor actually said to me, in front of 5 interns that if she'd been breastfed she might not have gotten so sick. I am all for breastfeeding but no, not everyone can do it and the women who can't shouldn't be shunned for it. I would like to add that since then this baby has had maybe 3 ear infections in her whole 9 years of life, not to mention no other health problems and is an intelligent straight A student who is wise beyond her years. I am blessed to have such a beautiful healthy daughter.
Meanwhile no one, not even my doctor educated me on how to take care of an episiotomy incision, I had no idea and later this would prove to be a major issue. So we go home and of course, after 3 days of sleeping my baby finally found her lungs and the grumbly in her tummy. I didn't know what to do. Again I would try for hours to nurse her, to the point where she was screaming and I was crying and we were both exhausted. The nurses kept calling me to ask me if I was still trying. They suggested that I syringe feed so that she wouldn't become dependent on a bottle nipple. So that's what I did, after 2 hours of failing at breastfeeding, I would spend another hour trying to syringe feed her. Nurses would call me at least once a day and rudely pressure me about it. Meanwhile, the day after we brought her home the episiotomy incision became infected. I had a high fever and the pain made it difficult to do anything. My mom had to come and stay with us and do all the housework and lifting etc. My husband had to do night time changings. I ended up in emergency one night to get antibiotics and percocet. My mom had to give baby a bottle, there was nothing else to be done. My mom had also called a better organization of nurses who had leant me a breast pump (and some support) so at least baby was getting breast milk (which I had plenty of). I had been "brainwashed" so to speak that my baby would somehow be sick and dumb if she was formula fed.
After that there was no going back. Although I did spend many more hours trying to convince baby to latch, we were both happier with the bottle. I continued to pump...1/2 hour of pumping, 1 hour of feeding, every time. When baby was 3 weeks old the pumping began to hurt. I ignored it until a few days later when the pain in my left breast was so bad I had to excuse myself from a dinner party because I could no longer keep a straight face. My fever soared to 1o4 degrees so again I headed to emergency. (I will spare you the other symptoms of mastitis.) Back on antibiotics and 4 days in bed and this time I said "That's it, I quit." But it wasn't easy, I felt like other moms looked down on me, because I formula fed. It was hard at playgroups and in church when I was the only one pulling out a bottle. Looking back, I know I shouldn't have worried what others thought, it was the guilty feelings of doing my baby wrong that caused those worries. When baby became very ill at 3 months of age she was hospitalized. Upon her discharge (after a diagnosis of her body overreacting to a urinary tract infection) a doctor actually said to me, in front of 5 interns that if she'd been breastfed she might not have gotten so sick. I am all for breastfeeding but no, not everyone can do it and the women who can't shouldn't be shunned for it. I would like to add that since then this baby has had maybe 3 ear infections in her whole 9 years of life, not to mention no other health problems and is an intelligent straight A student who is wise beyond her years. I am blessed to have such a beautiful healthy daughter.
Let's talk about it.
I've never understood why people are reluctant to talk about their childbirth experiences. Maybe in some cases there is nothing to tell but I wish my mother and others had been more open about it and really prepared me for my own experience. Ya I went to prenatal classes but they sugar coat it. And they only prepare you for normal or "textbook" labor. Or maybe there is no way to prepare but I'm going to share my experiences here even if it's just for my own sake.
I found out I was pregnant just before my 2oth birthday. I was scared, it was unplanned. I was just finishing up my 2nd year of college. I remember trying to go to class with overwhelming nausea. The morning sickness lasted for 4 months though, at least. After that I felt like I was starving all the time. I didn't show until I was 7 months along. We only had one ultrasound and didn't know what we were having, I thought it was a boy. At 37 weeks it was discovered that I had been leaking fluid for a week. So the doc sent me over to the hospital because of the high risk of infection after the membranes have ruptured. They immediately put me on IV antibiotics and scheduled me for induction the next day. I was 3 cm dilated and the nurses all thought I'd go into labor on my own during the night. I spent the night in the induction room with 3 other women.
At 9am they came and put me on some kind of hormone drip. (we were all induced at the same time) I walked and laid around all morning very nervous and waiting for something to happen. At 1pm I laid down and with a sudden, big contraction, my water broke. With it came more than intense pain and I will admit I began to panic a bit. The nurse came over and checked me, telling me I was 5 cm dilated. She told me to calm down and that I would dilate about 1 cm per hour. That scared me because by now I was in the greatest pain I'd ever felt and there was no break between contractions..none...just one big contraction (apparently common with inductions). I tried as hard as I could to keep from making any noise, all the other women and their family members were watching me...although it was with more concern than the nurses. I went back and forth to the bathroom trying to find some privacy. The nurses actually seemed annoyed. Finally one of them suggested I go to the showers, I'm sure it was to try and get rid of me for a while. It was probably close to 3pm by this time. The shower helped and I was happy to stay there for a little while. Until my body started pushing, I couldn't control it. But I thought it was normal, a way to get through the pain, it felt good to push. I told him not to but Mike went and found a nurse and told her what was happening. She came running in and before I knew it I was on a stretcher going up to a delivery room that had just been finished being cleaned from the woman before me. Finally they were taking me seriously!
A nurse checked me and told me I was fully dilated and that it was ok to go ahead and push. I was sooo relieved. The room filled up with nurses very quickly all running around and talking about how the doctor wasn't going to make it for the delivery. The doctor did make it though, just in time. Baby started crowning and as all mothers without epidurals know, that's just a real hard part to get through. I'd had no time for drugs. It was all happening so fast, my mind and body didn't even have time to deal with it all. After hearing my sister's "textbook" birth story I am convinced that, even though it may take longer, it is better than the intense fast labors...The room was so noisy. A nurse had to get right in my face and tell me to stop yelling while I pushed. I was actually grateful for that because I needed someone to tell me what to do. My husband was understandably flustered. The doctor called to me "I hope you're ok with and episiotomy!" (clearly I didn't have a choice at that point) At 3:48pm the baby was out and I was told "it's a girl!" Of course this is the moment when every woman claims to instantly forget all the pain and just stare into her baby's eyes. I was overjoyed, so happy to have a girl, and surprised by her beauty. But she was quickly whisked away and I was told that the placenta was stuck. The nurse came over with a gas mask and told me to take some deep breaths with it. I asked why and she said "Cause this is gonna hurt." The only thing I can say about that is that it was at least quick. There were of course many stitches after that but finally I was in a private room with my baby by my side. I was exhausted as all mothers are after childbirth. I kept opening my eyes to see her and couldn't believe that my beautiful baby was finally there. I didn't see her eyes until 3 days later, she was so sleepy and wouldn't even wake up to eat but that is another story.
I found out I was pregnant just before my 2oth birthday. I was scared, it was unplanned. I was just finishing up my 2nd year of college. I remember trying to go to class with overwhelming nausea. The morning sickness lasted for 4 months though, at least. After that I felt like I was starving all the time. I didn't show until I was 7 months along. We only had one ultrasound and didn't know what we were having, I thought it was a boy. At 37 weeks it was discovered that I had been leaking fluid for a week. So the doc sent me over to the hospital because of the high risk of infection after the membranes have ruptured. They immediately put me on IV antibiotics and scheduled me for induction the next day. I was 3 cm dilated and the nurses all thought I'd go into labor on my own during the night. I spent the night in the induction room with 3 other women.
At 9am they came and put me on some kind of hormone drip. (we were all induced at the same time) I walked and laid around all morning very nervous and waiting for something to happen. At 1pm I laid down and with a sudden, big contraction, my water broke. With it came more than intense pain and I will admit I began to panic a bit. The nurse came over and checked me, telling me I was 5 cm dilated. She told me to calm down and that I would dilate about 1 cm per hour. That scared me because by now I was in the greatest pain I'd ever felt and there was no break between contractions..none...just one big contraction (apparently common with inductions). I tried as hard as I could to keep from making any noise, all the other women and their family members were watching me...although it was with more concern than the nurses. I went back and forth to the bathroom trying to find some privacy. The nurses actually seemed annoyed. Finally one of them suggested I go to the showers, I'm sure it was to try and get rid of me for a while. It was probably close to 3pm by this time. The shower helped and I was happy to stay there for a little while. Until my body started pushing, I couldn't control it. But I thought it was normal, a way to get through the pain, it felt good to push. I told him not to but Mike went and found a nurse and told her what was happening. She came running in and before I knew it I was on a stretcher going up to a delivery room that had just been finished being cleaned from the woman before me. Finally they were taking me seriously!
A nurse checked me and told me I was fully dilated and that it was ok to go ahead and push. I was sooo relieved. The room filled up with nurses very quickly all running around and talking about how the doctor wasn't going to make it for the delivery. The doctor did make it though, just in time. Baby started crowning and as all mothers without epidurals know, that's just a real hard part to get through. I'd had no time for drugs. It was all happening so fast, my mind and body didn't even have time to deal with it all. After hearing my sister's "textbook" birth story I am convinced that, even though it may take longer, it is better than the intense fast labors...The room was so noisy. A nurse had to get right in my face and tell me to stop yelling while I pushed. I was actually grateful for that because I needed someone to tell me what to do. My husband was understandably flustered. The doctor called to me "I hope you're ok with and episiotomy!" (clearly I didn't have a choice at that point) At 3:48pm the baby was out and I was told "it's a girl!" Of course this is the moment when every woman claims to instantly forget all the pain and just stare into her baby's eyes. I was overjoyed, so happy to have a girl, and surprised by her beauty. But she was quickly whisked away and I was told that the placenta was stuck. The nurse came over with a gas mask and told me to take some deep breaths with it. I asked why and she said "Cause this is gonna hurt." The only thing I can say about that is that it was at least quick. There were of course many stitches after that but finally I was in a private room with my baby by my side. I was exhausted as all mothers are after childbirth. I kept opening my eyes to see her and couldn't believe that my beautiful baby was finally there. I didn't see her eyes until 3 days later, she was so sleepy and wouldn't even wake up to eat but that is another story.
Cute Things My Twins Do
I love watching my identical twin girls interact. I will often find them sitting and "reading" together or feeding each other. Now that they are two and able to communicate better it is hilarious some of the things they come up with. A friendly wrestling match between the 2 is so much fun to watch. They have just learned to blame each other when they get in trouble. The other day I came upstairs and found that they had spilled those little rubber elastics all over the hallway and my bedroom. I started saying "Uh-oh, who made this mess?" Gracie immediately pointed to Meghan and said "sgabababa mess!" So I said to Meghan "Did you make this mess or did Gracie make this mess?" Meghan then pointed to Gracie and grinned up at me. I wish I had it on video of course, my writing skills don't do the cuteness justice. Then last night Gracie started pointing to some orange marker on the wall (that has been there for days) and jabbering "shakdos color color mess!" and then pointing to Meghan. So I say "oh no we don't color on the wall" and Gracie went real close to Meghan's face and repeated "no no color wall!"
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Violin lessons
So I practiced my violin today for 1/2 hour while the kiddies played! Yay me! I did some scales and then realized I have completely forgotten how to read music for violin so I looked up the fingering charts on the internet and am starting the re-learn it. Then, get this, I learned to play Twinkle Little Star! I was excited and my 4-year-old thought I was nuts. I am excited to get back to playing after many years. My 7-year-old is also starting lessons so I plan on practicing with her. I've been wanting to pick up my violin for years but have been busy having babies and I never knew how to tune it. I still don't as of right now but we had a member of our bishopric come over on the weekend who is a violinist and he tuned it up for me. So I thought, ok no more excuses, I'm not getting any younger. Hopefully I can keep it up.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I love having twins...
After posting that last post (which I actually wrote a year ago) I just had to give a quick entry about how cute and amazing my twins are. They are 23 months now, about 3 weeks till their birthday. I just looove seeing them hug each other. It is really the cutest thing, I haven't been able to get a picture of it yet. Makes having twins seem more worth it when they do cute twin things. Much nicer now than having 2 screaming newborns with a rambunctious 2-year-old running around. Each of my twins got riding cars for Christmas. Every once in a while they will each stand up at the same time and switch cars, without speaking or even looking at one another. I've witnessed this at least 3 times and it amazes me. They often look for each other too although they are very seldom apart (which probably isn't a good thing). They rarely separate themselves from each other. Often, when one walks away and the other doesn't follow right away, she'll come back and get her sister. Very sweet. I never wanted to separate them as infants because I was worried they would miss each other or feel vulnerable without the other there. Since November though (we moved to a new house and had to give them toddler beds), they've been refusing to nap and playing with each other instead. So over the past week I've been putting them in separate rooms to nap and it's been working! It is probably a good thing for them in the long run too. I don't plan on separating them for kindergarten though, but that may change. This is a quick, not well written entry but I am babysitting an 18-month-old boy now so I better pay attention to them!
Our Battle with Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome
I just want to share my story because I am so grateful that it has a happy ending. With 3 previous difficult pregnancies, I knew this had to be my last... so imagine my surprise when I found out I was having twins (at 14 weeks)! I was excited at being able to fulfill my desire to have a large family and getting 2 for the price of 1.
I should start by saying after having 3 beautiful daughters, my husband and I decided we wanted to have "just one more". And, as with my first 3 pregnancies, I got pregnant right away. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, same amount of morning sickness etc. until September '06 when we went for our first ultrasound, at 14 weeks. Now that is actually quite unusual for Canada, usually they don't do an ultrasound here until 18-20 weeks. But my new doctor routinely does them around 14 weeks just to make sure everything is going well in there.
So at this ultrasound is how we found out we were having twins! With my second pregnancy we had experienced "vanishing twin syndrome" so I was in total disbelief and the first question I asked the tech was "and they're both the same size and have heartbeats?" She assured us that both babies looked great and that she suspected they were identical because it appeared there was only 1 placenta and only a thin membrane separating the twins.
Some months earlier I had happened to see an episode of Dateline that talked about Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome so at my next doctor's appointment I expressed my concern about it. He assured me that is was "rare" and I did not need to worry about it. I had another ultrasound at 20 weeks where again, everything looked great with the babies. I thought I was in the clear and convinced myself to stop worrying.
Saturday, November 25, 2006: I begin have a lot of cramping and contractions. I ask my husband to take a photo of my belly because it seems that I have "popped" out over night. I had convinced myself not to worry so I push all these feelings aside.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 (24 weeks): I have been having contractions and cramping all weekend but trying to ignore it, knowing I have a routine ultrasound that day. The ultrasound tech is quiet, he says he is looking at the one baby and takes some time but when he gets to the other baby he is quick and excuses himself from the room. I have been trying to think positive so I don’t let this alarm me. A few minutes later my husband and the doctor come in. She proceeds to tell me something I had been fearing since finding out I was carrying identical twins. My babies are suffering from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, a condition that only affects identical twins sharing one placenta. This explains why I have been having so much cramping. The condition causes the blood and nutrient flow through the placenta to the babies to be uneven. One baby gets too much (recipient baby) and the other baby doesn’t get enough (donor baby). The sac around the recipient baby fills with excess fluid and leaves the donor baby with little or no fluid. This puts both babies in great danger. The doctor tells me that I am in Stage 2 TTTS and that Twin A still has a little bit of fluid around her, which is good. I begin to cry and cannot believe what I’m hearing. The doctor tells me I am a candidate for laser surgery and goes to call Dr. Ryan in Toronto, the only doctor in Canada who specializes in TTTS pregnancies. Moments later I am receiving steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs develop in case of premature labor. The doctors want me to get on a plane for Toronto that same day but I have to go home and make arrangements for my 3 children. Needless to say, I do not sleep that night.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006: We have made arrangements for our 3 girls to stay with wonderful family friends and leave for the airport, with a stop at the hospital for another steroid shot on the way. My belly is so swollen with excess fluid that I can barely eat and it is hard to even sit up in a chair. I am very nervous to get on an airplane for the first time in my life, but more nervous about what is going on inside me. I am terrified that I will go into labor or that my babies will pass away at any moment. The plane ride is very difficult due to my condition and I am so glad when it’s over. We go to our hotel and spend another night worrying.
Thursday, November 30, 2006: We wake early as we have an appointment with Dr. Ryan at 8am. My belly has ballooned now, making me look like I’m well overdue at just 24 weeks. The condition has become quite painful, I can hardly sit up and eating is not even an option. We wait in a crowded waiting room, all the while, I am trying to hold back tears. Dr. Ryan is awesome and gives us some priority. He allows me to lay on the ultrasound bed while I wait for him. When he finally performs the scan, he finds that the condition has become worse. Twin A now has no fluid around her and no visible bladder. He says the good news is that neither baby shows signs of heart failure or brain damage but he cautions us that it is just around the corner. He takes us back to a room and gives us all the information. There are options but not many and the statistics are scary. If we go with the laser ablation surgery there is still only a 50% chance of both babies surviving, 80% for one baby to survive. But without it there is only a 10% chance of survival of both babies. There is also a high risk of going into labor during or after the surgery. Mike and I know that despite the risks we have to do the laser surgery. It is set for the next day. I go for blood tests and after a long day at the hospital we go to our hotel to wait. It is not long into the evening when I start having contractions and the pain is becoming severe. I am already so nervous and scared that I go to the hospital. The doctor there does another ultrasound which shows that both babies are doing okay. It is a relief to be at the hospital, I spend the night there.
Friday, December 1, 2006: The big day. I have to wait as they are just squeezing me in when an OR becomes available, so we have no idea what time the surgery will be at. We wait and wait and wait, time seems to be crawling. I am becoming very discouraged when finally, at 5pm we get the news that an OR is ready for us. Suddenly my heart is racing. At 6pm I am on the operating table. The anesthetist does not give me enough medication and the surgery is painful at first. After receiving more medication I fell asleep. When I come to the doctor is almost done and asks me if I want to see Baby B, it takes all my strength to pry open my eyes (as I am very drugged now) but I catch a glimpse of a precious little angel. Dr. Ryan then drains 4 ½ liters of fluid off Baby B’s sack, this is much to the relief of my internal organs. When the surgery is over I have to be monitored for contractions and given drugs to stop them. Soon I am back in my room and feeling much better now that I can sit up with no pain and actually eat comfortably. I spend another restless night in the hospital. We have to wait and see if the surgery worked.
Saturday, December 2, 2006: Dr. Ryan comes in the morning and performs another ultrasound. He is very pleased, both babies have a good amount of fluid around them and he has a hard time telling which one is which. He looks at blood flow and everything is looking good. Still no signs of brain damage or heart failure. He discharges me from the hospital but I decide to stay at the hotel another day to recover. I was not anxious to get back on a plane. We are so grateful and relieved that the surgery appears to have worked.
Monday, December 4, 2006: I go back to see Dr. Ryan one last time before flying home. He does another ultrasound and the babies look even better. I thank him but he is still cautiously optimistic, he warns me that I am still at high risk for preterm labor. The plane ride home is a lot better.
My beautiful twin girls were born healthy on February 4, 2007, 9 weeks after the surgery that saved their lives. Words cannot express how grateful I am for these 2 little miracles.They were 6 weeks premature, weighing in at 4 lbs. 8 oz. and 4 lbs. 7 oz., but never needed to be on oxygen and were only in the NICU for 13 days. I do not know who was the donor baby and who was the recipient. They continue to amaze me today and now, at almost 10 months, you can hardly tell they were premature. Mike and I are so grateful for the hundreds of prayers and all the help from friends, family and even strangers. I look forward to the future with my 5 beautiful daughters--just hope we make it through those teen years!
I should start by saying after having 3 beautiful daughters, my husband and I decided we wanted to have "just one more". And, as with my first 3 pregnancies, I got pregnant right away. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, same amount of morning sickness etc. until September '06 when we went for our first ultrasound, at 14 weeks. Now that is actually quite unusual for Canada, usually they don't do an ultrasound here until 18-20 weeks. But my new doctor routinely does them around 14 weeks just to make sure everything is going well in there.
So at this ultrasound is how we found out we were having twins! With my second pregnancy we had experienced "vanishing twin syndrome" so I was in total disbelief and the first question I asked the tech was "and they're both the same size and have heartbeats?" She assured us that both babies looked great and that she suspected they were identical because it appeared there was only 1 placenta and only a thin membrane separating the twins.
Some months earlier I had happened to see an episode of Dateline that talked about Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome so at my next doctor's appointment I expressed my concern about it. He assured me that is was "rare" and I did not need to worry about it. I had another ultrasound at 20 weeks where again, everything looked great with the babies. I thought I was in the clear and convinced myself to stop worrying.
Saturday, November 25, 2006: I begin have a lot of cramping and contractions. I ask my husband to take a photo of my belly because it seems that I have "popped" out over night. I had convinced myself not to worry so I push all these feelings aside.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 (24 weeks): I have been having contractions and cramping all weekend but trying to ignore it, knowing I have a routine ultrasound that day. The ultrasound tech is quiet, he says he is looking at the one baby and takes some time but when he gets to the other baby he is quick and excuses himself from the room. I have been trying to think positive so I don’t let this alarm me. A few minutes later my husband and the doctor come in. She proceeds to tell me something I had been fearing since finding out I was carrying identical twins. My babies are suffering from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, a condition that only affects identical twins sharing one placenta. This explains why I have been having so much cramping. The condition causes the blood and nutrient flow through the placenta to the babies to be uneven. One baby gets too much (recipient baby) and the other baby doesn’t get enough (donor baby). The sac around the recipient baby fills with excess fluid and leaves the donor baby with little or no fluid. This puts both babies in great danger. The doctor tells me that I am in Stage 2 TTTS and that Twin A still has a little bit of fluid around her, which is good. I begin to cry and cannot believe what I’m hearing. The doctor tells me I am a candidate for laser surgery and goes to call Dr. Ryan in Toronto, the only doctor in Canada who specializes in TTTS pregnancies. Moments later I am receiving steroid shots to help the babies’ lungs develop in case of premature labor. The doctors want me to get on a plane for Toronto that same day but I have to go home and make arrangements for my 3 children. Needless to say, I do not sleep that night.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006: We have made arrangements for our 3 girls to stay with wonderful family friends and leave for the airport, with a stop at the hospital for another steroid shot on the way. My belly is so swollen with excess fluid that I can barely eat and it is hard to even sit up in a chair. I am very nervous to get on an airplane for the first time in my life, but more nervous about what is going on inside me. I am terrified that I will go into labor or that my babies will pass away at any moment. The plane ride is very difficult due to my condition and I am so glad when it’s over. We go to our hotel and spend another night worrying.
Thursday, November 30, 2006: We wake early as we have an appointment with Dr. Ryan at 8am. My belly has ballooned now, making me look like I’m well overdue at just 24 weeks. The condition has become quite painful, I can hardly sit up and eating is not even an option. We wait in a crowded waiting room, all the while, I am trying to hold back tears. Dr. Ryan is awesome and gives us some priority. He allows me to lay on the ultrasound bed while I wait for him. When he finally performs the scan, he finds that the condition has become worse. Twin A now has no fluid around her and no visible bladder. He says the good news is that neither baby shows signs of heart failure or brain damage but he cautions us that it is just around the corner. He takes us back to a room and gives us all the information. There are options but not many and the statistics are scary. If we go with the laser ablation surgery there is still only a 50% chance of both babies surviving, 80% for one baby to survive. But without it there is only a 10% chance of survival of both babies. There is also a high risk of going into labor during or after the surgery. Mike and I know that despite the risks we have to do the laser surgery. It is set for the next day. I go for blood tests and after a long day at the hospital we go to our hotel to wait. It is not long into the evening when I start having contractions and the pain is becoming severe. I am already so nervous and scared that I go to the hospital. The doctor there does another ultrasound which shows that both babies are doing okay. It is a relief to be at the hospital, I spend the night there.
Friday, December 1, 2006: The big day. I have to wait as they are just squeezing me in when an OR becomes available, so we have no idea what time the surgery will be at. We wait and wait and wait, time seems to be crawling. I am becoming very discouraged when finally, at 5pm we get the news that an OR is ready for us. Suddenly my heart is racing. At 6pm I am on the operating table. The anesthetist does not give me enough medication and the surgery is painful at first. After receiving more medication I fell asleep. When I come to the doctor is almost done and asks me if I want to see Baby B, it takes all my strength to pry open my eyes (as I am very drugged now) but I catch a glimpse of a precious little angel. Dr. Ryan then drains 4 ½ liters of fluid off Baby B’s sack, this is much to the relief of my internal organs. When the surgery is over I have to be monitored for contractions and given drugs to stop them. Soon I am back in my room and feeling much better now that I can sit up with no pain and actually eat comfortably. I spend another restless night in the hospital. We have to wait and see if the surgery worked.
Saturday, December 2, 2006: Dr. Ryan comes in the morning and performs another ultrasound. He is very pleased, both babies have a good amount of fluid around them and he has a hard time telling which one is which. He looks at blood flow and everything is looking good. Still no signs of brain damage or heart failure. He discharges me from the hospital but I decide to stay at the hotel another day to recover. I was not anxious to get back on a plane. We are so grateful and relieved that the surgery appears to have worked.
Monday, December 4, 2006: I go back to see Dr. Ryan one last time before flying home. He does another ultrasound and the babies look even better. I thank him but he is still cautiously optimistic, he warns me that I am still at high risk for preterm labor. The plane ride home is a lot better.
My beautiful twin girls were born healthy on February 4, 2007, 9 weeks after the surgery that saved their lives. Words cannot express how grateful I am for these 2 little miracles.They were 6 weeks premature, weighing in at 4 lbs. 8 oz. and 4 lbs. 7 oz., but never needed to be on oxygen and were only in the NICU for 13 days. I do not know who was the donor baby and who was the recipient. They continue to amaze me today and now, at almost 10 months, you can hardly tell they were premature. Mike and I are so grateful for the hundreds of prayers and all the help from friends, family and even strangers. I look forward to the future with my 5 beautiful daughters--just hope we make it through those teen years!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Where do I start?
This is my first blog entry! I've been meaning to start this for quite some time but never seem to get around to it. And then I've also put it off because I don't know what to write in a "first entry". I'm pretty sure no one will ever read this but even so, it will be good for me to ramble off my thoughts even if it is to a machine and not a person. So should I tell a little bit about myself? Seems like a good idea. I'm a 29 year old mother of 5. I have 5 daughters aged 9, 7, 4 1/2 and the last two are twins aged 23 months. It's crazy, it really is. Life doesn't slow down anymore, it's go go go. I often find myself remembering life with just 2 and thinking how quiet it was back then. Although at the time I thought I had a handful, hah! Not that I want it that quiet again, of course not, going on to have 3 more has been great, even if it is crazy. My 3rd baby was such a good baby though, you know, she didn't cry unless she was hungry, went to sleep right after I fed her as a newborn, slept through the night at 2 months, etc... like she really was an angel baby. So I remember thinking, wow I should just stop at 3 and all will be well. (I should mention that my first baby screamed for the first 4 months of her life and my 2nd baby was so sickly that she was a miserable child till she was 3). Anyway, lucky for me I know that having children is well worth the effort and when my 3rd daughter was 2, we decided to have "just one more". Although I wasn't expecting it, I again got pregnant pretty much as soon as I thought the word "baby". At week 14 I had an ultrasound just to make sure everything was running along smoothly. My husband actually came to the ultrasound with me, which I'm kinda surprised at looking back on it, seeing as how it was our 4th pregnancy and we had done it all before. Of course in Canada they make the hubby wait in the waiting room until the tech is all done. So the tech was taking a while, I thought it kind of odd but tried not to worry or think much of it. Apparently my hubby was growing a bit concerned in the waiting room. Finally the tech brought him in then told us to "hold on to our hats". She turned the screen towards us, pointed to it and said "so there's 1 baby", then moving the mouse thing over and said "and there's the other baby." My jaw really did drop open. It was a complete shock, nothing about the pregnancy so far had been different and I wasn't even really showing yet. The tech printed out some pics for us to take home. Over the next few days I had to constantly look at the pic of 2 heads just prove to myself it was true. Both my husband and I didn't believe it. We also learned that day that they were identical twins sharing 1 placenta which worried me after doing some research, but I was assured by my doctor that there was nothing to worry about. The fact that they each had their own sac was a very good thing.
It is time to get little ones ready for bed. I will write more about my whirlwind twin pregnancy another time.
It is time to get little ones ready for bed. I will write more about my whirlwind twin pregnancy another time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)