Let's talk about it.

I've never understood why people are reluctant to talk about their childbirth experiences. Maybe in some cases there is nothing to tell but I wish my mother and others had been more open about it and really prepared me for my own experience. Ya I went to prenatal classes but they sugar coat it. And they only prepare you for normal or "textbook" labor. Or maybe there is no way to prepare but I'm going to share my experiences here even if it's just for my own sake.

I found out I was pregnant just before my 2oth birthday. I was scared, it was unplanned. I was just finishing up my 2nd year of college. I remember trying to go to class with overwhelming nausea. The morning sickness lasted for 4 months though, at least. After that I felt like I was starving all the time. I didn't show until I was 7 months along. We only had one ultrasound and didn't know what we were having, I thought it was a boy. At 37 weeks it was discovered that I had been leaking fluid for a week. So the doc sent me over to the hospital because of the high risk of infection after the membranes have ruptured. They immediately put me on IV antibiotics and scheduled me for induction the next day. I was 3 cm dilated and the nurses all thought I'd go into labor on my own during the night. I spent the night in the induction room with 3 other women.

At 9am they came and put me on some kind of hormone drip. (we were all induced at the same time) I walked and laid around all morning very nervous and waiting for something to happen. At 1pm I laid down and with a sudden, big contraction, my water broke. With it came more than intense pain and I will admit I began to panic a bit. The nurse came over and checked me, telling me I was 5 cm dilated. She told me to calm down and that I would dilate about 1 cm per hour. That scared me because by now I was in the greatest pain I'd ever felt and there was no break between contractions..none...just one big contraction (apparently common with inductions). I tried as hard as I could to keep from making any noise, all the other women and their family members were watching me...although it was with more concern than the nurses. I went back and forth to the bathroom trying to find some privacy. The nurses actually seemed annoyed. Finally one of them suggested I go to the showers, I'm sure it was to try and get rid of me for a while. It was probably close to 3pm by this time. The shower helped and I was happy to stay there for a little while. Until my body started pushing, I couldn't control it. But I thought it was normal, a way to get through the pain, it felt good to push. I told him not to but Mike went and found a nurse and told her what was happening. She came running in and before I knew it I was on a stretcher going up to a delivery room that had just been finished being cleaned from the woman before me. Finally they were taking me seriously!

A nurse checked me and told me I was fully dilated and that it was ok to go ahead and push. I was sooo relieved. The room filled up with nurses very quickly all running around and talking about how the doctor wasn't going to make it for the delivery. The doctor did make it though, just in time. Baby started crowning and as all mothers without epidurals know, that's just a real hard part to get through. I'd had no time for drugs. It was all happening so fast, my mind and body didn't even have time to deal with it all. After hearing my sister's "textbook" birth story I am convinced that, even though it may take longer, it is better than the intense fast labors...The room was so noisy. A nurse had to get right in my face and tell me to stop yelling while I pushed. I was actually grateful for that because I needed someone to tell me what to do. My husband was understandably flustered. The doctor called to me "I hope you're ok with and episiotomy!" (clearly I didn't have a choice at that point) At 3:48pm the baby was out and I was told "it's a girl!" Of course this is the moment when every woman claims to instantly forget all the pain and just stare into her baby's eyes. I was overjoyed, so happy to have a girl, and surprised by her beauty. But she was quickly whisked away and I was told that the placenta was stuck. The nurse came over with a gas mask and told me to take some deep breaths with it. I asked why and she said "Cause this is gonna hurt." The only thing I can say about that is that it was at least quick. There were of course many stitches after that but finally I was in a private room with my baby by my side. I was exhausted as all mothers are after childbirth. I kept opening my eyes to see her and couldn't believe that my beautiful baby was finally there. I didn't see her eyes until 3 days later, she was so sleepy and wouldn't even wake up to eat but that is another story.